Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

Since aku dah mula balik sembang kat group WhatsApp tu, i returned to the old me. I chatted and ranted there. I responded kot if i read em. But they? Baca macam tu je. Biar lah. Nak pretend i am busy lah.

I was mean. I know that and i hate myself for that. I have lots of bad qualities. I know that not a single human in this world is born with perfection. I always know that. But then, for me, *sigh I think i need to seek a therapist. Last time i asked my colleagues if they know any babysitter that i can send my baby to. And guess what? They all kept quiet except for one person. And i was furious. Wanna know why? Because in front of me they seemed to care.. but trust me, they dont give a shit about my life. They asked because they wanted to know and talk about it with their friends. I truly hope that i will be transferred here in perak this October. Because i am afraid i will speak differently with them. Full of harshness. I dont want that. And I truly hope they dont bother me with questions about my baby. I just wanna do my work. I want to pretend i am busy.

I dont know what to say. Last night was truly an eye opener to me. All these while i thought i have somebody to count on. To listen to my women's problem. But hey, i was wrong. And it was devastating to know that. All the while in the car my mind kept thinking of throwing my phone out the window but then i tried not to follow my raging emotions so i didnt. Plus, my husband would be furious if i do that. Haha. Anyway, there was this person whom i think i could relate to.. because among my friends we have the most things in common.. so i thought she would understand and she would listen and respond just the way i did it for her. But nope. When i was rattling about something she would either reply with one sentence or an emoji. Depending on her mood.. i dont know lah. I felt betrayed so much last night. So i deleted my WhatsApp. I am trying to change myself again which i successfully did it for the past few weeks until someone noticed and asked what's wrong with me and why was ...

I dont know what to say. Last night was truly an eye opener to me. All these while i thought i have somebody to count on. To listen to my women's problem. But hey, i was wrong. And it was devastating to know that. All the while in the car my mind kept thinking of throwing my phone out the window but then i tried not to follow my raging emotions so i didnt. Plus, my husband would be furious if i do that. Haha. Anyway, there was this person whom i think i could relate to.. because among my friends we have the most things in common.. so i thought she would understand and she would listen and respond just the way i did it for her. But nope. When i was rattling about something she would either reply with one sentence or an emoji. Depending on her mood.. i dont know lah. I felt betrayed so much last night. So i deleted my WhatsApp. I am trying to change myself again which i successfully did it for the past few weeks until someone noticed and asked what's wrong with me and why was ...