Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

It's 3.50 am and I am wide awake. I wanted to go back to sleep but couldn't. My stomach is growling. Breastfeeding is a serious issue I'm telling you. It gets me hungry all the time. Back then I didn't eat as much but now, I feel like I had triple the amount of food intake. Being a mommy is no joke. There is no break from being a mommy. Even if I am at work, I'll still be thinking about my baby and I would ask his sitter about him.  This month is just a crazy month for all the teachers. As we're closing up the year, lots and lots of things to be done. Marking exam papers, filling it in the website, streaming classes, report cards, and many more. As I am the AJK of textbook we're even busier as pupils are required to return their textbooks and getting new ones ready for next year. Not to mention the hari anugerah thingy. It gets even tougher at work when the administrator making up new rules. As the serving people like us i guess we'll just have to f...

define superwoman. for me, it's an ordinary woman who gets everything together. like everything is being put up perfectly. i dreamed of being one too. i thought it was easy. but heh, life is all about tests right. i thought i could be the woman who does her work perfectly. taking of children while looking good and energetic. putting on makeup. look beautiful. but the reality, i feel like crying most of the time. i am lucky i have this morning all to myself for a moment before my child wakes up and i decided to write this, when in my mind, there's a hurricane of thoughts going on. it's just crazy if you just entered my brain. i read my friend's blog and i feel inspired. i feel like her life, is perfect. she always gets what she wants and she works hard for it. unlike me, i am so freaking lazy that i just wait for people to give it to me. i cant be the superwoman. i know that. just my random thoughts in the morning. 

Lately little Adam keeps saying abah abahh abbaahh.. i dont know at what month should they start talking but i want him to call mama. What i did was, i say the word mama when i looked at his face directly. He smiled. I said it again, he laughed. Does the word mama amuses you my child? Tskk.

I guess the biggest fear for most housewives is not that the laundry hasn't dried but it's the fear of their husbands cheating. To be honest i am one of them. Living far away from my husband I am paying high for the trust. It's not easy given my history.

here goes a story about a colleague of mine who i adored so much.  i guess she started working in SKA around march. when i heard the news we're getting a new science teacher..  in my school, there is always a battle when it comes to new teacher.  sesi pagi nak cikgu baru. sesi petang pun nak cikgu baru. both are claiming lacking with teachers. which is true for both sides. tapi from my observation petang lagi teruk lah looking at cikgu petang punya jadual.  anyway, the first day she went into the morning session but the second day she was assigned to be in the afternoon session.  she took a place in front of me where the teacher there moved last year.  the way i see it, dia sangat murah dengan senyuman.. dia senyum and we did have a nice chat.  setiap hari dia akan datang sekolah dengan mood yang ceria. never once i saw her coming to school with an upset mood. tak pernah tengok dia sedih. tak pernah tengok dia marah. those...

this is my labour room story. i had false labour before giving birth. and i was admitted to the hospital with the thought of giving birth but the baby refused to come out yet. so when i was hit with another contraction pain, i didn't really think that the baby was gonna arrive because i had experienced the same pain but the baby didn't come out right. i was admitted to ward that day because i was dilated 2cm. they wanted to monitor. the nurse wanted me to walk to the ward but seeing me having to stop when the pain came, she wheeled me in. it was super painful i tell you. the pain made me forget all the other important stuff until, at 4a.m the nurse knocked my door and told me to unlatch my bra and bring the baby stuff. i was like, oh no, the baby stuff is with my husband. he was not at the hospital at the moment. he was having his sahur at the nearest restaurant. luckily, it was just nearby. so with the contraction and everything i managed to call my husband to bring...

A friend of mine asked a question which makes me think for a while. Have you ever felt like a loser? That was her question. It got me thinking, when was the last time i felt like that? To be honest, i cant remember at all. Not that i never felt like that but i just cant remember what had happened until i felt like that. I have my ups and downs. That's life. But then i guess, i am just too busy with my life that i dont really have the time to think about it too much. And i seek motivation from my favorite ustaz by listening to his ceramah. Which i would really likento attend one day.