Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

I'm glad that she's happy. I really do. But i stilk cannot forget how she ignored my sadness. I get it. She has so much going on with her life. And i dont want to be the one who caused her any pain. Cause i want her to be happy.  I made my decision and i am going to stick with it. I decided to be quiet. I dont want to be involved in any social media drama. I dont want the socmed drama to affect my life because from now on, i decide everything with Allah's guidance. That's all that matters. 

I've finally be able to type something. here is my story. my firstborn. muhammad adam naufal. i didnt thought nor i intended to fully breastfeed him. but when he was born i was super sad to leave him behind in the hospital and not be able to give him my milk. that was the day i thought i want to fully breastfeed this guy.  boy it was hard. it was really hard as i was struggling with my milk production. i wasnt a cow so milk didnt come as i thought it would be. i didnt have much so yeah. nevertheless i made it until he refused bottle. then i got pregnant and i knew i had to train this guy with cow milk but since he was already over one year old so i gave him fresh milk. he didnt drink formula.  so my second child i also didnt have the intention of fully breastfeed even until the day he was borne. i wasnt fully equipped. i only have my autumunz and it was a single pump. i wasnt really satisfied with it but i just used whatever i have. buying a new one was very expensive

I know right. It's only been 3 years of marriage. But I've known my husband for 8 years already. And there's so much to say and learn. An update; we had our second baby on April this year. It's a blessing. I hate to say this but I actually do sometimes compared my life with my friends and it's easy to fall into the self panic attack when you dont get to have the tick in your life just like your friends do. I'm a human and i do forget things. At times I forgot to be grateful. I wanted more things in life. And I wish there's a genie out there that can make my wishes come true in a snap. I do believe that Allah is a great planner and to feel the upmost content in life is what everyone's searching for. At the end of the day, it's not checklist of things we want to tick or cross so much. Its the feeling of happiness and knowing what I have is enough is all that matters. Of course there are plenty of things i would want in my life. In terms of mat

Hey there. As much as I wanted to put this in my journal but you know. Having two kids is making things impossible to even sit down and write stuff. Oh how i miss those moments. I am just writing this because apparently i am no longer a fun human being. My life has shifted its focus centre and my life now is all about my kids. Without them i might have a meaningless life. Now that they're here i cant imagine my life without them..i love them very much. It's hard being a mommy of two. It's a constant struggle.  I struggle a lot. Up until now and will always be.. I looked for inspiration but it does not motivate me enough. My toddler is in his tantrum mode. If he didnt get what he wanted he would burst into loud cry and just laying on the floor. Still remember the night i had to stay in the hospital when my cervix dilation was just 1cm. That was our first time we were apart. Me and adam. He fell sick the next day. I felt so heartbroken just seing him. He couldn't sle

Alhamdulillah. My parent's house may not be a mansion but this is a bliss. I am enjoying the plants that my mother planted. And the wind. While i am cooking the traiditional food, the peanut sauce. 

There are many things that i find people don’t understand me and what I’m doing. For instance, i asked my husband to bring me to tapah because there’s something i wanted to buy. He said, just go after work. I know. Sounds easy. It’s 15mins from my school. But. I cannot afford it. I cannot afford to leave my baby behind for a longer period of time. My baby depends on me to eat. Without my milk he cannot eat anything else because he only drinks my milk. I don’t give him formulas because my husband is opposed to that and i do have the intentions to breastfeed my baby until he’s two years old. It’s okay. Memang susah orang nak faham tapi tu lah realiti aku. Pendapat untuk bagi formula aku tolak mentah-mentah sebab niat aku memang nak cukupkan dua tahun. I guess it gives me the purpose. Tipu la kalau cakap I’ve never been depressed. Pernah. Mak mana yg tak pernah. Anak2 menangis sebelah telinga. Tak tahu nak pilih anak mana nak pujuk dulu because I’m afraid of putting the image of mama