Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

i realized that in my life, not all people can be my friends. or true friends. some people i met were my friends. but we stopped being friends because they hurt me. and they are the most people whom i refused to meet at all in my life. luckily, God has been answering my prayers, i haven't met them at all after all those years. luckily.  i am not a revenge type of girl. i definitely can let go of the past and move on. but what they did to me, it has become a scar in my heart that i feel like i do not want to see their faces anymore. yes. even until now. i forgive them yet i refuse to meet them again because i do not want to be hurt like that again. i was hit hard. real hard. until the point i was thinking of suicide. yes. i admit it. at that point it hurt so much that i thought of ending my life. but guess what. i was not that brave to end my life. i guess i was holding on to that little piece of iman in my heart. thank God for that. and i seek blessing every day in my lif...

i'm stealing this little bit of time while waiting for hanim. don't know where is she right now.  i felt like i want to blabber my thought somewhere about incident that happened in watson which i felt super annoyed, so i blogged it on my tumblr. then i came across a post from a dearest friend of mine. she talked about d-day.  babe, if you're reading this, just letting you know, i feel the same way. even until now. i am so traumatized with watching newsfeed on facebook about my friends' marriage. lol..  what's different between she and i? she, is super calm about it. her reaction, she kept it inside her. she didn't show. me? totally different. i'll say what i want to say, when i want to say where i want to say. that's it. i'm an 'expresser' and sometimes i screwed things up because of this.  at first, i couldn't even bear myself receiving my friends' wedding invitation. i felt sick. i felt annoyed. i was...

i'm stealing this little bit of time while waiting for hanim. don't know where is she right now.  i felt like i want to blabber my thought somewhere about incident that happened in watson which i felt super annoyed, so i blogged it on my tumblr. then i came across a post from a dearest friend of mine. she talked about d-day.  babe, if you're reading this, just letting you know, i feel the same way. even until now. i am so traumatized with watching newsfeed on facebook about my friends' marriage. lol..  what's different between she and i? she, is super calm about it. her reaction, she kept it inside her. she didn't show. me? totally different. i'll say what i want to say, when i want to say where i want to say. that's it. i'm an 'expresser' and sometimes i screwed things up because of this.  at first, i couldn't even bear myself receiving my friends' wedding invitation. i felt sick. i felt annoyed. i was angry at myse...

selamat hari raya semua... :) happy eid mubarak. malas nak cakap banyak. this year, memang enjoy raya walaupun memang tak pegi mana-mana. one of the reasons is malas nak drive. tiap-tiap hari drive kat taiping tu, bila dah balik rumah, memang malas tahap mega nak drive. tak banyak capture gambar sebab memang tak pegi mana pon and kalau pegi raya, tak sempat nak amik gambar banyak-banyak.  ni muka happy + letih. letih sebab kena stay back utk siapkan mural. happy sebab tak sabar nak balik raya.  nah. ni family. yang tengah-tengah tu wan. from negeri sembilan hokay... ni gambar tak cukup kuota.  dua ketul manusia yg sibuk suruh aku amik gambar dorang.  nah. ni my daddy my hero okay. forever my hero.  teachers generation  sisters and i. teka siapa perempuan sulung? hihi my baju. bukan custom made. tapi beli siap-siap sebab last minute + bajet tak banyak utk raya. tunggu aku keja dulu tahun depan. ngahahahahaha ni baby ...

sometimes we are given with choices. sometimes we made the wrong choices. sometimes we don't have a choice at all.  but when we have made a choice, and there's no chance of turning back, we just gotta make the best out of it . let me be more specific. for example, like myself, i made a choice of becoming a teacher because i wanted to fulfil my parent's wish, which is me, being a teacher. but then after all the years that i had been in teacher training college and my first practical as a teacher, i found that, i didn't have the talent to be a teacher. in some cases, talent may works wonderfully for you. but when you don't have a talent, you just need to work hard. that is all.  i have told you before that i had a thought of quitting. but looking back, the years, it's gonna be such a waste if i quit. so i continued. i continued to find that i didn't like this profession. it gave me headache and the kids were super annoying and naughty and i couldn...

hey now. (this ain't a song from a hilary duff, it's just my greeting. in case you're singing this song)  i am now entering the next phase in my studies, which is the internship. for the past few days and weeks, i had been imagining how hard things could be during this internship. i was actually very afraid of taking this step even though i knew, eventually, it's gonna happen.  but now that i am already in taiping, i feel like hey, i'm gonna do this. i'm gonna do this well. i'm gonna excel on whatever research i am about to do. i pray very hard to be super organized although i am actually lacking right now.  it's gonna be fine and i'm gonna be OK with this. i have to keep these two things in mind.  in order to move on and grow up, this is another challenge i must take. i realized that. and here i am. i am taking out the negative thoughts even though i am sure i want to write some right now. but i don't want to affect my mood and...

Hey guys. Here's what I think about the book entitled Silencer by James W. Hall.  Let me copy to you the synopsis from the book.  Here's the synopsis, copied directly from the book. So, quoted James W. Hall. "Earl Hammond, the wealthy patriarch of a family ranchers, lies dead, shot just as he was to donate his Coquina Ranch to the state to preserve it from developers. spearheading the plan to save this environmental treasure was Thorn, a reluctant heir to a secret family fortune, who now finds himself in terrible danger as well. A pair of deviant brothers, both contract killers, kidnap him and drag him to a game preserve, surrounded by herds of exotic and very dangerous animals. He is entrapped in a sinkhole - a geological dungeon from which there is no escape.  "But Frisco Hammond, the dark sheep of the family, is drawn into the investigation of his father's murder and Thor's disappearance. he suspects the crimes are related. Helping him...