Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

My baby is being difficult today. Sebab? Sebab dia taknak tidur and bila dia tidur and terbangun, dia still mengantuk menyebabkan dia mengamuk and nothing can help to soothe him. Stress jugak lah memandangkan badan aku sakit. Nak jalan pun sakit  It’s 11.09 p.m. and he is now asleep. After refusing to be taken by me. Akhirnya dah tidur. And now it is my turn. Pinggang and my pelvic still really really hurt. Can walk but slowly and with the right way in order to reduce the pain. Bukannya totally hilang terus sakit tu. tapi bersyukurlah. Demi baby dan semua. Hehe. Alhamdulillah.  Jom tido. 

Kisah hari ini. 20.11.18 Cuti maulidur rasul jatuh pada hari ni, hari Selasa. Suami ajak la pergi ipoh sebab dia nak tukar barang kereta. So we went. On the way it was a very short business nak tukar barang kereta tu. tak sampai 15 minit dah selesai. Alhamdulillah.  Then we went to aeon kelebang sebab memang yang tu paling dekat. Ever since adam dah start jalan i no longer carry beg baby besar gedabak. Jadi lepas parking aku pun just insert lah adam punya pampers dua keping since last time dua kali dia berak kt aeon ni jugak kan and that time aku bawak satu je pampers. Haha. Padan muka lah jugak. So this time konon habis prepared lah bawak dua pampers letak dalam beg.  We had lunch. Makan apa semua. Adam tak makan sangat pun. But he drank plenty of water. Lepas makan kami jalan-jalan and last spot masuk kaison. Sebab dah dekat pukul 4 and suami ada urusan lain.  Masuk kaison beli barang this and that. Time untuk bayar. Suami tengah dukung adam waktu tu. ...

Morning. It’s dawn. I haven’t been writing much. I know. Today after watching a video from my favourite blogger I just feel like writing. I am now 3 months pregnant. Alhamdulillah. To be honest with this pregnancy I feel like everything is moving so slow. I want to fast forward the time if I could. Compared to previous pregnancy my life now is going as slow as it can be probably because I don’t have any anticipations like previously my husband and I lived apart so I was very looking forward for the weekend. It was full of activities and anticipations. This time, now that we have been living together weekend just means more time spent in bed. Because I was constantly sleepy. Even on weekdays. Especially during the early weeks of pregnancy. I was crazy exhausted due to adjustment in my body and my body is trying to care for the little baby inside of me. It was exhausting thus I was constantly in bed. This time is a little bit challenging because my son is still breastfeeding and he ...

Kronologi: Aku submit segala borang untuk pengesahan jawatan. Kemudian aku tanya the pic tentang pergerakan gaji aku. Dia jawab, selagi urusan pengesahan jawatan tak selesai, selagi tu la tak boleh nak uruskan pergerakan gaji. Aku bagitahu la dia. Kawan aku pun tak sah jawatan lagi tapi dia lulus je pergerakan gaji? After that dia jawab, ikut negeri. Me being stupid aku pun balas, oh, okay. And i left.  Aku still macam pelik la. Kenapa pulak macam tu kan? So i made a call. I made a call to the ppd. Niat aku, aku nak tanya lah. Betul ke macam tu. Aku takde la pulak cakap apa-apa. Aku just nak maklumat pengesahan je. Betul ke kalau belum sah jawatan gaji tak naik? Kalau betul macam tu kenapa dua tahun lepas, aku masih belum sah jawatan, gaji naik macam biasa? Ada tempoh ke? She said, dia tak tahu. Kerja diorang di ppd just key in maklumat je. And she asked me to ask the pic. Before she hung up dia tanya la sekolah mana? Nanti dia akan call dan berurusan dengan pic tersebut....

This morning I saw the news that went viral. The babysitter claimed that the baby was taken by stranger who got into the house. So the parent viraled the picture seeking society’s help in finding their baby. Somehow the police said the statement made by the babysitter was very vague. So they searched the house. The baby was found dead and be kept in a fridge.  Can you believe how cruel is this? As a mother every morning when I go to work it just kills me that I need to send my baby to be taken care of by someone I do not know of. It just breaks my heart seeing him cry when I go to work and this happens not every morning but when he does, I am worried sick at work.  Kalau ikutkan memang. Semua ibu kat dunia ni nak jaga anak sendiri. Takde ibu yg nak for something bad to happen. Walaupun ada. Tapi kebanyakkannya memang nak anak tu membesar depan mata. Meskipun kadang-kadang semua ibu ni ada love hate relationship dengan anak masing-masing. Haha. I am speaking about me ...

Entry 24.6 Whenever i wanna tell dearest friend about my problems, there are doubts and thoughts. First, i think of will my problems burden my friend? Second, i know that whining about it wont give me solutions and it will create more problems.  So, instead of telling my friends about my problems what i always did was finding motivational stories. And i pent everything inside. I didnt tell anyone in the end.  It’s not that i dont have dearest friends who dont mind listening to my problems, i just think that’s me. That i feel ashamed of my problems and i feel like my problems are smaller than the others and i should just settle things my own way.  To my friend shidah, it’s not that i dont wanna share it with you. I just dont share it with anybody including my husband. 😂 However i feel i keep everything inside or i would rant it on twitter or WhatsApp status. Sometimes i feel like my brain is so full of thoughts and unsolved problems and i just wa...

Hi. Assalamualaikum. Dalam post sebelum ni aku ada cerita pasal how bad i was as a mother right. Ok. Kalau tak ingat aku ingatkan balik. Minggu lepas aku pergi temujanji bulanan anak aku. Bila nurse tu cek and everything dia cakap anak aku kena refer doktor. Sebabnya dia tak boleh nak lambai tangan bila kita lambai kat dia. I didnt know ni adalah termasuk dalam saringan yg dia nak uji untuk perkembangan bayi umur setahun. Selain lambai, anak aku jugak tak boleh temukan dua objek. Dan bila nurse tu buat tepuk-tepuk dekat depan dia, dia buat dont know jer. So cut story short, dia kena follow up lagi untuk cek perkembangan dia. To be honest. Aku rasa aku banyak abaikan anak aku. I am too focusing on how to instead of actually doing it. Contoh nya ibarat aku ni sibuk mencari dan membaca manual tanpa aku buat sebarang praktikal. Tak ada keseimbangan. Dan anak aku pun kena buat terapi and everything. Aku rasa macam failed parent sangat-sangat. Yelah. Kenapa dia jadi macam tu? Ok. ...