Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

Kronologi: Aku submit segala borang untuk pengesahan jawatan. Kemudian aku tanya the pic tentang pergerakan gaji aku. Dia jawab, selagi urusan pengesahan jawatan tak selesai, selagi tu la tak boleh nak uruskan pergerakan gaji. Aku bagitahu la dia. Kawan aku pun tak sah jawatan lagi tapi dia lulus je pergerakan gaji? After that dia jawab, ikut negeri. Me being stupid aku pun balas, oh, okay. And i left.  Aku still macam pelik la. Kenapa pulak macam tu kan? So i made a call. I made a call to the ppd. Niat aku, aku nak tanya lah. Betul ke macam tu. Aku takde la pulak cakap apa-apa. Aku just nak maklumat pengesahan je. Betul ke kalau belum sah jawatan gaji tak naik? Kalau betul macam tu kenapa dua tahun lepas, aku masih belum sah jawatan, gaji naik macam biasa? Ada tempoh ke? She said, dia tak tahu. Kerja diorang di ppd just key in maklumat je. And she asked me to ask the pic. Before she hung up dia tanya la sekolah mana? Nanti dia akan call dan berurusan dengan pic tersebut....

This morning I saw the news that went viral. The babysitter claimed that the baby was taken by stranger who got into the house. So the parent viraled the picture seeking society’s help in finding their baby. Somehow the police said the statement made by the babysitter was very vague. So they searched the house. The baby was found dead and be kept in a fridge.  Can you believe how cruel is this? As a mother every morning when I go to work it just kills me that I need to send my baby to be taken care of by someone I do not know of. It just breaks my heart seeing him cry when I go to work and this happens not every morning but when he does, I am worried sick at work.  Kalau ikutkan memang. Semua ibu kat dunia ni nak jaga anak sendiri. Takde ibu yg nak for something bad to happen. Walaupun ada. Tapi kebanyakkannya memang nak anak tu membesar depan mata. Meskipun kadang-kadang semua ibu ni ada love hate relationship dengan anak masing-masing. Haha. I am speaking about me ...

Entry 24.6 Whenever i wanna tell dearest friend about my problems, there are doubts and thoughts. First, i think of will my problems burden my friend? Second, i know that whining about it wont give me solutions and it will create more problems.  So, instead of telling my friends about my problems what i always did was finding motivational stories. And i pent everything inside. I didnt tell anyone in the end.  It’s not that i dont have dearest friends who dont mind listening to my problems, i just think that’s me. That i feel ashamed of my problems and i feel like my problems are smaller than the others and i should just settle things my own way.  To my friend shidah, it’s not that i dont wanna share it with you. I just dont share it with anybody including my husband. 😂 However i feel i keep everything inside or i would rant it on twitter or WhatsApp status. Sometimes i feel like my brain is so full of thoughts and unsolved problems and i just wa...

Hi. Assalamualaikum. Dalam post sebelum ni aku ada cerita pasal how bad i was as a mother right. Ok. Kalau tak ingat aku ingatkan balik. Minggu lepas aku pergi temujanji bulanan anak aku. Bila nurse tu cek and everything dia cakap anak aku kena refer doktor. Sebabnya dia tak boleh nak lambai tangan bila kita lambai kat dia. I didnt know ni adalah termasuk dalam saringan yg dia nak uji untuk perkembangan bayi umur setahun. Selain lambai, anak aku jugak tak boleh temukan dua objek. Dan bila nurse tu buat tepuk-tepuk dekat depan dia, dia buat dont know jer. So cut story short, dia kena follow up lagi untuk cek perkembangan dia. To be honest. Aku rasa aku banyak abaikan anak aku. I am too focusing on how to instead of actually doing it. Contoh nya ibarat aku ni sibuk mencari dan membaca manual tanpa aku buat sebarang praktikal. Tak ada keseimbangan. Dan anak aku pun kena buat terapi and everything. Aku rasa macam failed parent sangat-sangat. Yelah. Kenapa dia jadi macam tu? Ok. ...

recently the result of egtukar came out. it was yesterday lah. what recently. reading the posts made me remember my old days when I had to spend my times apart from my husband. it was easy because I had really good friends. it has been seven months since I had been moved in with my husband. and to be honest I kept complaining this and that. I was constantly fighting with my husband because of small unimportant things. I hardly remember ever whether I feel truly grateful. after seeing people's posts immediately feel grateful to be able to transfer within my 3rd times applying. alhamdulillah. I am thankful towards Allah the almighty for blessing me with this time to be spent with my little family. when I think back. this is the life I have always wanted. so I should be grateful to be given this change to live my dream right? inshaAllah. may I will always be grateful. oh ya. I just wanted to rant a bit. last time I went for my son's appointment. it turned out my baby is...

I have been wanting to write this for quite some time. It has been on my mind a lot. Since I have few or quite a lot experiences I can say, in this matter. The topic for today is, Millennium Mom and The Challenges. I feel like writing an essay for an assignment. Being a mother nowadays is totally different from the past when women just need to sit down and care for the babies or just picking leaves and fruits. It was such an easy task. They were not expected to hunt animals or do dangerous stuff like climbing trees or mountains. When we look back at the job of those women, and we compare it to these days, it just differs like the sky and earth. The differences are vast. Mothers nowadays are expected to work. Because in order to have a comfort living, they need to back up their husband and go to work. Of course there's also this feminism thingy and I'm just gonna scratch that. For me, it is tough being a mother in these days because there are huge responsibilities and exp...

Earlier today was a bit awful. There's just a lot going on in my mind and someyimes I find it exhausting. I don't really hate my life .In fact I love my life eve though it is not perfect. I took a leave today despite work is mounting my desk .I had to care frf my baby. His babysitter was away today . I scrolled down my WhatsApp and I reread the conversation between my college mates .they were discusidis about the confirmation job. Which I haven't done anything. So I talked to a friend of mine and she said that once I printed out the Surat pengecualian ptm the kerani should ask me to fill in two forms .I had given my kerani the Surat a long long time ago and she didn't do anything. So I called the ppd bahagian unit perkhidmatan and the person in charged told me that I needed to download the forms from the spp portal and I didn't know. My kerani didn't know .I was furious lah .Ni bukannya bidang kuasa Aku .she ahould have known lah Kan dia kerani kot. I print...