Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

I am at the clinic right now.. so many people are here. Looking at pregnant women with their husbands accompanying them I feel a little bit jealous. But I know I have to be strong. For this little aby. If not I wouldn't come at all. For this check up, I will be injected. Quite scary ey? Seriously memang takut. You know how our society macam caring sangat-sangat. Kadang-kadang sampai rimas. Before I got married, memang dok fikir taknak anak sampai lah dapat duduk sekali. But then orang sekeliling asyik pesan and say negative things when it comes to pregnancy. "Jangan plan, nanti tak dapat langsung." I got this before I got married. Can you imagine how I felt then? Memang fikir banyak lah before kahwin tu but then lepas kahwin and bincang dgn husband, he said ada rezeki ada lah. Like that. Like totally berserah kt Allah. Yes. Memang kita taktaw whats gonna happen so memang biar jelah. Takde planning. As a woman, kita taktau how far kita punya kesuburan. Ad or...

Just a picture of my husband and the crew for the swimming competition. Funny. I smiled like an idiot looking at my husband. Why in the world does he have to look so good and handsome in the picture. I cant stop staring. Call me crazy hundred times I just dont care. I still adore him so so so much.. he is getting so much handsome these days. I am crazily in love with him. 

Hey it's me again. Wanting to whine I guess.  Pain is everywhere. My tummy is not even big but I feel pain everywhere. Especially if I walk around too much.  How to avoid this? Hm.

Since tomorrow is Valentine, though I'm not celebrating, I want to upload loads of pictures of us here. Yep. He loves taking this type of picture.  I'm the luckiest girl in the world.  Dulu pakwe makwe, now husband and wife alhamdulillah. 

Today I came in late for my course.. it was a long ride with the traffic at rawang and I was pretty much in stress. I really was. You know when you have everything in plan and when life just doesn't stick to that plan, it just frustrates me so much. This is a rare occasion though because I believe I am a very flexible person. Haha. Big laugh to my face.  It was very tiring for me, and at school I felt like crying because I just wanted to go home and rest. My body was not feeling it hence I was not in the mood of being grateful.  Then I contacted a friend of mine, and she told me about her good news and I am glad for her, truly am. But deep down inside I was feeling jealous of her. Why? Because she gets to live with her husband and I can't. We are different. I really shouldn't feel sorry for myself but since I was pretty damn tired the feeling overrode me.  Then I talked to a friend of mine and I just felt relieved I talked to her. She gave me good advices an...

I try not to complaint but this is just bothering me. The pain. Yes. Siapa nak sangka even before bersalin macam-macam sakit ada. Bersalin apatah lagi kan. Ni penyakit sebelum bersalin. At least what I've been through lah. Tak boleh nak buat kerja rumah lebih-lebih. I dont know to what extend yg dikira lebih-lebih, tapi memang boleh rasa la sakit yg datang tu bila buat kerja rumah. Is this mengada? I have no idea. Bukan lah nak mintak excuse or anything, and no I aint complaining. Just nak record rasa and perasaan now. Bangun tadi, takde buat benda teruk pun. Just mandi and terus keluar makan. Then pegi jalan-jalan. Even waktu jalan-jalan tu pun dah rasa sakit tapi kat sekolah okay jer. Hm. Mungkin yg ni lagi banyak kot pergerakan than turun naik tangga kt kelas tu. Now, nak berjalan pun sakit. Tak tipu. Celah kangkang, inner thighs ni, ya Allah sakit yg amat. Even berbaring pon can be painful. Hm. Dugaan ibu mengandung eh? Tu jelah kot nak cakap. Malam ni sakit-saki...

I am crying in the car right now. Such a crybaby. A lot of things have been going on in my mind and I am not comfortable. Emosi orang pregnant memang camni ke eh? Or mungkin aku penat sgt2. Letih sampai benda kecik pun aku nak nangis. Kisahnya, kena marah dengan motor in front of school sebab aku tak sabar nak keluar. Yelah.. he shouted in front of everybody, 'sabar lah!' Yes. I admit. Memang aku tak sabar. Try lah suruh pregnant lady yang dah turun naik tangga seharian sabar. I cant. I lost it just now. And the best part when I told my husband about this he did not calm me and back me up which upset me even more. It was small stuff. Really. Kalau pikir balik dua tiga minggu lagi memang akan gelak je bende ni or mungkin akan lupa jer. Tapi right now, entah. I have no one to tell about this. Guess what, skang kat depan rumah lagi. Tak masuk pun lagi. And I lost my appetite. Can I not eat? Afterall, dia cakap, pandai-pandai la jaga perut sendiri. Makes me want to...

Susahnya nak bercinta lepas kahwin. Can't believe I am saying this but this is so true. Ok. My last post was about this lah kan lebih kurang but this is kinda the mix language punya versi. Lepas kahwin, immediately terus macam terikat dengan satu komitmen rumahtangga. Yg wife, sibuk kena uruskan rumah this and that. Yg husband, banyak fikir pasal future plans for family. Bukan plan nak tambah family yer, well I am speaking about my husband. Yelah, nak beli rumah, nak settle down especially for newlywed kan. So macam dah terikat sangat dgn komitmen tu sampai nak duduk berdua and just sit together and talk about us pon kadang tak sempat. Yang sempatnya talk about work, pastu cakap pasal planning. Nak masak apa, apa nak buat, barang apa nak kena beli.  Life as a new married couple has been so busy that we forget to bercinta again.  Padahal, seronok kot, jalan saja2 pegang-pegang tangan and such. Making jokes. Sembang other than our circle of life.  Kes tu l...

i am now with him for nearly 5 years now. we've been dating since the last 4 years and last september we tied the knot after so many obstacles, cries, pains and bad memories. for me, 2016 was my changing year. i become who i am now because of what i've been through in 2016.  anyway, what i wanted to say is, when you're married, it is really hard for us to be in the love mode. both of us were present at a time was probably because we are committed to it. to the marriage.  but then, last sunday, we went out. dating. i forget the back pain, and all the pain that i am going through (i'm pregnant). and it was just sweet. revisiting our old dating places.  first we went to ipoh for a purpose. then, he drove to Padang Polo Ipoh, which was a place we frequently went as a couple. and it was really nice to have those moments with him. first, when we parked the car, we both relaxed in the car. and we stared at each other like, you know those love birds who have just ...

when i went to work last wednesday it was a very stressful day for me. so as usual, i made my husband his drinks before i went to KL, and everything went smoothly that morning for me.  initially i wanted to service my car since it had reached 40K km. luckily on the highway there were not that many cars and it just went on smoothly. i drove happily and then i went to the service center. but unfortunately it was full. so i booked an appointment for 9 o'clock. then i went back home and got some rest before i went to school.  at school, here comes the thing that ruined my day but somehow i found it amusing in the end.  my friend told me that i had to go to the meeting in PPD the next day and it just ruined my plan. i had an appointment. so then i needed to change the schedule. i was pretty upset that day. and super stressful that i made a decision to quickly fill in the forms of egtukar.  zohor. after i performed the prayer, there was this teacher askin...