Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

Hi. Assalamualaikum. Dalam post sebelum ni aku ada cerita pasal how bad i was as a mother right. Ok. Kalau tak ingat aku ingatkan balik. Minggu lepas aku pergi temujanji bulanan anak aku. Bila nurse tu cek and everything dia cakap anak aku kena refer doktor. Sebabnya dia tak boleh nak lambai tangan bila kita lambai kat dia. I didnt know ni adalah termasuk dalam saringan yg dia nak uji untuk perkembangan bayi umur setahun. Selain lambai, anak aku jugak tak boleh temukan dua objek. Dan bila nurse tu buat tepuk-tepuk dekat depan dia, dia buat dont know jer. So cut story short, dia kena follow up lagi untuk cek perkembangan dia. To be honest. Aku rasa aku banyak abaikan anak aku. I am too focusing on how to instead of actually doing it. Contoh nya ibarat aku ni sibuk mencari dan membaca manual tanpa aku buat sebarang praktikal. Tak ada keseimbangan. Dan anak aku pun kena buat terapi and everything. Aku rasa macam failed parent sangat-sangat. Yelah. Kenapa dia jadi macam tu? Ok.

recently the result of egtukar came out. it was yesterday lah. what recently. reading the posts made me remember my old days when I had to spend my times apart from my husband. it was easy because I had really good friends. it has been seven months since I had been moved in with my husband. and to be honest I kept complaining this and that. I was constantly fighting with my husband because of small unimportant things. I hardly remember ever whether I feel truly grateful. after seeing people's posts immediately feel grateful to be able to transfer within my 3rd times applying. alhamdulillah. I am thankful towards Allah the almighty for blessing me with this time to be spent with my little family. when I think back. this is the life I have always wanted. so I should be grateful to be given this change to live my dream right? inshaAllah. may I will always be grateful. oh ya. I just wanted to rant a bit. last time I went for my son's appointment. it turned out my baby is