Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

I've finally be able to type something. here is my story. my firstborn. muhammad adam naufal. i didnt thought nor i intended to fully breastfeed him. but when he was born i was super sad to leave him behind in the hospital and not be able to give him my milk. that was the day i thought i want to fully breastfeed this guy.  boy it was hard. it was really hard as i was struggling with my milk production. i wasnt a cow so milk didnt come as i thought it would be. i didnt have much so yeah. nevertheless i made it until he refused bottle. then i got pregnant and i knew i had to train this guy with cow milk but since he was already over one year old so i gave him fresh milk. he didnt drink formula.  so my second child i also didnt have the intention of fully breastfeed even until the day he was borne. i wasnt fully equipped. i only have my autumunz and it was a single pump. i wasnt really satisfied with it but i just used whatever i have. buying a new one was very expensive

I know right. It's only been 3 years of marriage. But I've known my husband for 8 years already. And there's so much to say and learn. An update; we had our second baby on April this year. It's a blessing. I hate to say this but I actually do sometimes compared my life with my friends and it's easy to fall into the self panic attack when you dont get to have the tick in your life just like your friends do. I'm a human and i do forget things. At times I forgot to be grateful. I wanted more things in life. And I wish there's a genie out there that can make my wishes come true in a snap. I do believe that Allah is a great planner and to feel the upmost content in life is what everyone's searching for. At the end of the day, it's not checklist of things we want to tick or cross so much. Its the feeling of happiness and knowing what I have is enough is all that matters. Of course there are plenty of things i would want in my life. In terms of mat