Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

this is the time when i feel like cursing and swearing and coming out with all the bad words that are available in this world. seriously. i am super angry right now.  the reason why is because i was suddenly assigned to be the head of this club since the head of this club does not want to be the head and he wants to be the head of ping pong club which was my post previously. so we changed. BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT TO BE THE HEAD OF THIS CLUB. suka hati je kan? kalau tak suka, kau boleh tukar awal2 lagi kan? bulan 1 lagi or before the school even begin lagi kau dah boleh nak mintak tukar kalau kau tak suka pon kan? why at the end of march baru kau nak terhegeh2 mintak tukar? so bloody idiot! yes. i am furious right now.  to tell you the truth, i like ict club. i can teach the kids lots of stuff such as blogging.  anyway, that's not the reason why i want to write about this, as much.  in this club, we have four teachers.  me, a female teacher, two male teachers. 

i guess it really is different when you're single and when you get married.  i dont know how life after marriage will look like, but i can pretty much imagine. imagining and being at the place does not really fit actually. when you're imagining, your energy is not being used, so you don't know how much energy you would spend on an action lets say cooking. but when it is real, then you'll know.  i guess, for the moment i never know the life of waking up early to prepare food for somebody (husband and family) because well, obviously, i've never done that. even my mom didn't do it anymore unless we have leftover food in the rice cooker. probably because my dad didn't really eat breakfast like fried rice, or meehun goreng or food like that. to cook heavier meal for example nasi lemak, it will take a certain occasion for it to happen because we simply well, my dad lah, simply love to buy em. what's so bloody hard? my neighbour sell nasi lemak what.

i know i haven't been blogging much last month. i bet on january as well.  February was not an easy month for me. in terms of work, there was tons of work that i had to do but my mind was not really focusing on work. i was badly affected by my love relationship.  i admit, there was part where i did wrong. there was part where he did wrong. it was never 100% his fault nor mine. no, relationship does not work that way.  i took this as a test to see whether we are still strong together or not.  sadly, there was a day where i gave up. but then i realized my mistake and i immediately wanted him back. but he refused.  then, somehow, he felt lost, and i felt lost, then the day after, we're back together. i wasn't strong.  i cried a lot. i was in pain. lots of times. it was really really really hard.  but then, it was all in the past now. now that we made it through, still together, i am just thankful enough.  having him by my side is one of th

When people ask me, what is it that you like about him? Is he really that good? Yes. I have been given a chance to meet much more men. But i chose him and if i were given the chance, i will still choose him. People might not understand him, but i do. He had shown me his deepest down moment, and i can still accept that. It is never out of pity. It is because of love. To tell you the truth, i am not sure if i will end up marrying him. Because i cannot see the future. But all i know is, i want to marry him. I am just crazy loyal.. I just hope to be with him, i just want to take care of him. Be with him during his sad times and his happiest times. I dont care about what people think about us. Outsiders are going to judge. Me and him. we know each other. We had been living these four years, being with each other. Maybe, i just cant live a day without him. We had been shifting out needs and lives to each other. Changing my life again,without him, i just cannot picture it. May our relati

today was the day where ujian fasa 1 sekolah aku start. dengan datang lambatnya ke sekolah. hari ni ramai yang lambat. macam hari lambat sedunia pulak. kena jaga peksa 7.20 straight sampai 9.20. fuh.. memang agak letih tapi mostly mengantuk sebenarnya. probably because there is nothing to do rather than just sit around. aku bab exam cukup malas nak round kelas. cukuplah menjerit dari jauh. haha. 9.20 pegi rehat. lepak kat kantin sampai pukul 10. haha. lepak. not really. my room mate and i were discussing about school matters. it was quite important. then we headed to the library konon nak tidoq. konon la. then sembang punya sembang, aku letak kepala, rasa sempat kot lelap dalam 5 minit. then melayan sembang lagi. 10.40 aku gerak pi bilik guru to take all the stuff nak bawak masuk zuhal konon nak siapkan kerja. coih ja rasa sebab budak zuhal semua dok cari pasai. stress betoi masuk kelas tu. keluaq kelas ja terus rasa lembik. naik atas, dok sembang lagi dengan kak maha. and then se

dear you, amir, meeting you, is the best thing that ever happened in my life. everyday we spent being apart, it kills me. but at least i learn the meaning of missing you in every second i breathe. i don't want to write about what had happened last february and this month. right now, all i want to say is, i am just grateful to be given a chance, or chances meeting you. you have no idea how my life changed ever since i met you. i met someone who is special, treat me with love, protect me with love, and never stop loving me. what more could i ask? during those years in the past, never once i doubted your love to me, for me, only me. but i took you for granted. last year, i changed, a lot. and it just hurt you, but you didn't tell me anything about it. i thought, i thought we're okay. i thought you're okay. that's when our relationship is tested. even now. honey, i am trying my best to be strong. i am in this fight because i choose to be in it. because i

ipoh. it is such a beautiful place.  a destiny.  i always think of it as a special place. a place where i grow. a place where i learned lots of new stuff. a place where i learned the value of friendship. love. life. mostly, my personality and attitude were shaped there. that is why i always find myself, wanting to go back to the place.  some people thought, ipoh is such a boring place, rather live in KL.  well, here i am, in Ampang, beside KL, some considered it KL gak lah, i want to run away from here. not that in ipoh there isn't any traffic jam at all.  to me, ipoh is a city yet you can still seek nature in it.  there's still lots of trees in some places. and there are places where you can enjoy nature whenever you feel like it, and there are places where you can entertain yourself whenever you like.  here, not that i am ungrateful being here, but i always find it hard to go to a place where i can just sit calmly for hours and just stare at