Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

I am a terrible partner. He didn't tell me he is in trouble and he let the burden be on his shoulder on his own. I wasn't aware of that and i have no right to interfere with his family's matter. With our wedding is gonna be near soon, i am sure he is in a lot of stress. And here i am crying because i am just a terrible partner. For what i have known i am in this relationship with the equation of we deal with it together. If it is up,up we go, if it is down, down we are. I was just selfish enough not to think of him and his situation. I hate myself now and ever. I promised myself and him to make him happy but now what do i do? He feels terrible right now and i do nothing. I am gonna hold on to this one guy because nobody made me as crazy happy as him.

now that i am in three weeks away from stepping into marriage, it kind of scares me. it terrifies me a lot just thinking about it. now the centre of my decision will not be around me anymore. every decision i should be making afterwards must be discussed with my husband. well, of course not mostly everything but still, there will a lot of decisions that i cant make it on my own anymore.  soon, there won't be time for me to be carefree. like, just one of the days i feel like indulging myself with home spa that i did to myself. for example, i would be listening to music while putting on cucumbers on my face. yes, there are days where i will spend at least one hour just for my face treatment. T_T  there won't be times when i can just sit lazily and watch videos all day and not thinking of cooking. and can't be bothered to cook if i am lazy and just be hungry. no. not anymore but i am sure there are plenty of good things that are coming that i wish to have such as

how simple happiness can be.  some might think happiness comes from the marriage. but no, i am a human being just like the rest of the people on earth, am saying, happiness is everything that is easy around you.  it made me happy that i got to eat good food today. [Alhamdulillah]  it made me super happy when i was supposed to pay RM280 for the repair of my laptop but the kind hearted man gave me back RM10. i was super happy. really happy.  life is simple. man makes it complicated. don't make your life complicated. 

hi. today i feel a bit like a failure. the education system. i am tired of all these. pushing us to the limits. i know we can make impossible things possible, but all of that shouldnt be put on the teachers' shoulders only. they asked us to teach as usual. cuma kurangkan sikit objektif pdp tu. are you freaking nuts? these kids cant even read and you expect them what?? telling us what to do this and that. it takes a lot of time money and effort and passion. this is not how the kids should be learning English. no. this aint the way. perlu ajar ikut silibus or language itself? because those are two different things.

Assalamualaikum. my laptop is just on so i have a thought and imma write it down pretty much quickly. what is wrong with being nice? i heard some people telling me, stop being so nice lah. baiknya hang.. in a sarcastic tone. i mean, what's wrong with being nice? for all i know our prophet does not limit us to do any form of kindness as long as it does not bring any harm to another living things. so, why are there such people telling me to stop being nice? even though most of the times i am mean. yeah. most. this is just for self improvement.. to my dear self, it is okay for being too nice. even though you are being beaten down or being a coolie to others. one day, inshaAllah you are gonna be granted for all your kindness. we are. soon. if God's will. let us all be nice and kind to each other. 

good morning. it's been a while. i've been caught up with work and every time i think of something to write i kinda postpone it. now i have some free time so i am just gonna go ahead and make everything short and sweet. my wedding is only a month away. and yes at times i felt suffocate thinking about it. but, i am enjoying my life way more now. i appreciate things more. and every moment is just too precious. because soon, i wont have the same freedom anymore. yesterday, i have 7 periods in school. at first, i hated it. to enter other's class. then after i got used to it, i am okay now. even better actually. because i dont have the time to spend for gossips and listen to others' rants. then after i'd finished all my classes, i went to the canteen because my stomach was empty and i ate freaking lamb! too excited for it, it made my body weak. i didn't realize it until it was too late. then we (rai and kak maha) went to tanjung malim for her to submit her t

i know i have promised to tell you about the story of my engagement but the internet was so f*ing slow so i had to cancel uploading the pictures. well, immah try give it a shot with the wifi here.  the hantaran. haha. it looks weird.  was being photobombed. as upon his request to wear a flower crown.  waiting for the guests.  the guests OMG freaking nervous!  my mom is on the left, and my mother in law is on the right. my uncle said my mom and my mother in law look alike!  that is my future husband / fiance  showing off the ring but got blurred cutting cake ceremony alright. the school wifi is not so bad. i managed to upload bunch of DSLR pictures.  so that was about it. alhamdulillah for such sufferings i had gone through this is the silver lightning of everything i guess? haha happy engagement day dear self. :)