Lovely Goddess; Cause Life is Damn Beautiful

I feel bad for leaving work early. Leaving the kids at the hands of others. Not that I care so much about them but just the idea of someone has to replace me is quite disturbing.  I thought I was gonna be okay, then at 1p.m. I started feeling out of breath, tired, and my legs were shaking. It was so bad so I had to ask the administrator to let me off early and luckily he was kind enough to let me off.  maybe I wasn't feeling well because I didn't have my lunch just yet. I don't know but I was super tired to care about the kids I just gave them the worksheets and they just did the worksheets though not quietly but still, they did their work.  I completed my work for a little bit then went to see the administrator and headed off to my car. Ok. Now my back hurts. I gotta go and lay down for a bit. 

I honestly thought that the pain will be over for a few days. Man was i wrong about it.  This pain is seriously unbearable. Ni hari keenam sakit pinggang yg amat. Memang susah nak describe sakit tu macam mana. I know. Been whining a lot about this. Tapi dah sakit. Rasa nak mintak painkiller ja and makan. Today ada sukan sebenarnya. Semalam dah masuk tido awal. Around 10. Tapi pagi tadi tido banyak kot so takleh tido plus tengah sakit kan, around 12 gak baru boleh nak lelap kot. Then terjaga, tengok jam, cis, baru pukul 2. Still sakit. So jenuh pusing kiri kanan so that boleh lelap balik.  It was so painful. Tah cemana boleh telelap. Then tersedar balik. Cek fon, baru pukul 4 lebih. Ya Allah. Geramnya rasa. Kenapa takleh tido. Cuba lagik utk tido. Pusing kiri kanan. Letak bantal bawah pinggang tak kena, baring tak kena, mengiring ke kanan tak kena, mengiring ke kiri tak kena. Sudahnya ni lah ceritanya. Tak dapat tido. Cubaan utk tido sambil duduk pun tak jalan jugak. Call h

Ahad. 16.4.2017 Bangun pagi lewat sebab balik lambat tengok fast 8. Nak tidur susah sbb sakit pinggang yg amat. Bangun dari seat wayang macam nak nangis sebab sakit sangat. Turun tangga wayang macam orang tua. Dah la banyak pulak tu tangga nya. Heh. Lepas tu keluar pegi giant. Beli barang masak since peti ais dah sampai. Ada orang request tom yam. Balik tu masak tom yam pulak. Even though sakit pinggang tapi gagah jugak sebab takmau give in sgt dengan sakit ni. During lunch, saw pictures. Tasha shila wearing backless dress. Orang mesia komen la yg negatif. Biasa la kan. Pastu ada gambar artis mesia laki gak, show off body dengan pakai boxer saja and the comments were okay sgt. Takde langsung negatif pasal aurat ke apa. So i told him this. Me: org mesia ni macam2 la. Gambar tasha shila komen negatif. Klu laki tayang body pakai boxer takde lak komen negatif. Him: well, kalau laki bogel ada tak orang nak rogol? Me: takde. Him: kalau perempuan? Me: huh, beratur. Him: taw pun. Oka

Been feeling major backache since yesterday. The pain is still lingering today. Feels like it is getting worse. This morning it was quite okay, but then after i slept and woke up in the afternoon it started to feel worse. Especially after we got into tesco. Had to ask him to walk slowly. Luckily he had been really understanding, wel he has to,since i am the one carrying his baby in my tummy. It was not easy. I talked to my mom and she said it is normal so buat bodoh jelah. And bear with it. What choice do i have. Dear son, haha, please appreciate mommy k. Bukan senang nak berjalan dgn awak dalam perut. Tulang belakang mama ni sakit sgt but mama kuatkan jugak demi baby. So baby pun kena kuat k. Love you. 

last week was an awesome week for me. probably because the work was light. I entered the class only to discuss about the exam questions paper. now that I have keyed in the marks online, everything is almost settled. yes. almost.  my new routine was going back to Ampang on Monday, which I will go straight away to school from my husband's house which is like two and a half hours drive. I really should be taking care of myself. Since I am with him, I forgot how to take care of myself because he did great in taking care of me, even as simple as asking me to go take a bath. hahahahahha. I love doing the free-balling thing with him.  anyway, yesterday, I didn't feel great about work at all. I wasn't motivated. I felt lazy. I felt numb. Nothing positive. luckily I have friends whom I can talk to when I am depressed this way. and they are just there when I needed them. I am glad for all the friends that I could count on.  as according to plan, I wont be going back to