stress

currently i am still in school. i am very stressed out now. why? 

first, my lesson did not go well (this is normal anyway), the kids don't understand me, i expect too much from them, they are naughty, i really feel like i want to strangle those kids. 

secondly, this week, there are just too much work. i have to prepare my lesson plan for tomorrow and also for next monday. you think it's easy is it? you can't copy paste it because it has to work based on your students, how good they are. but mine, is always not so good. i have to scream to the top of my lung and every time my class is finished, my throat felt very hurt. i can't even drink because this is a fasting month.

of course lah, i felt jealous towards hanim, she doesn't even have to teach grammar which means, she has two periods off!she also doesn't need to do the pbs thing because the class teacher does not trust the practicum teacher to assess the students. damn i am super jealous. -..-' 

then again, my cooperative teacher asked me to do the school based assessment. don't you think it's fucking too much? and my lecturer welcomes the work on behalf of me. not directly lah, but when i asked him he said, later in school i have to do it too, so learn now. 

yeah yeah yeah... 

see, we don't just have to do the teaching, we still need to do our assignments. i ran out of my sleeping time because of this, and i am just too tired. today, i need to go to college's library because i need to return books. i will be super exhausted. i really feel like i need to sleep for the whole day and not think of anything. i want to go someplace else that calms me. pleaaseee.. :( 

my mind is not at peace, it has gone haywire inside my brain. and i already started having headache till i felt like i need to go to the bathroom and throw up. 

i have so many works to do. and i need to continue my work now. bye now.