rumor has it.

life is just funny that way. recently when i had a talk among the teachers, i admit, i did say something about me being given too much work. but that does not mean anything. i am just saying i have lots of jobs given to me. i wonder, is that even considered a complaint when all i did was giving a statement? 

misunderstandings happen everywhere. you never know when it will hit you. when people will bring rumors about you everywhere they go, and they will tell whoever they meet. word wise, choose your words carefully and be a listener instead of a speaker. seriously. this deadly act of 'tolong sampaikan' is a very dangerous thing. and it is happening in my reality. 

a day when i went out for a meeting and i didn't go to school, i heard news about me, received by my room mate who is also a new teacher like me. we only have each other to trust because to other teachers, we are still new and we are outsiders. i was shocked by the news and pretty much, angry. 

the next day i went to school, i went to see the senior assistant teacher, i wanted to ask her about my record book. 

then she wanted to have a heart to heart talk with me. 

i already knew what she wanted to say. 

she talked about the rumors somebody told her about me. 

i explained myself in a good way. i did not complaint, i was just making a statement. it is a normal thing for people to say, 'banyak nya kerja.' when people give them works to do. normal lah kan? i told her, it is my pleasure to be a data teacher, because i believe she gave me the work because she believes in me. i am proud to even say i am the guru data. seronok apa, waktu mengajar only 20 periods per week. to me, it's the best things that can happen. i love working with my laptop. then the senior assistant teacher told me, if there's anything burdening me, just came forward to her. she'd do her best to lighten the burden, if it was too heavy. that's what she said. 

i got out of the room with mixed feelings. but mostly, determined. wanted to do my best to prove all these people that they're wrong about me. 

been attacked before so these things wouldn't make me cry. i didn't even bother when people talk behind my back anymore. used to hear those things. just know that i do my job with my best and a sincere heart, and i do the right thing, the right people will respect me. in life, there are people who are worth it to earn their respect, and there are others who don't really matter. make a choice of whom you want to earn respect with. 

anyway, imagined, me being a new teacher and became a new rumor to the school. shocking as i am, i tell myself to accept this as a 'normal' thing that would happen to me eventually. 

i will do my best to put out the negativity people are trying to put me in. praying for the best that can happen. inshaAllah.