entering new phase of my life

now that i am in three weeks away from stepping into marriage, it kind of scares me. it terrifies me a lot just thinking about it. now the centre of my decision will not be around me anymore. every decision i should be making afterwards must be discussed with my husband. well, of course not mostly everything but still, there will a lot of decisions that i cant make it on my own anymore. 

soon, there won't be time for me to be carefree. like, just one of the days i feel like indulging myself with home spa that i did to myself. for example, i would be listening to music while putting on cucumbers on my face. yes, there are days where i will spend at least one hour just for my face treatment. T_T 

there won't be times when i can just sit lazily and watch videos all day and not thinking of cooking. and can't be bothered to cook if i am lazy and just be hungry. no. not anymore

but i am sure there are plenty of good things that are coming that i wish to have such as having my mini me. i want three if possible. 

i want the time to look at my husband and just stare at him.for sure i want a lot of things in marriage. but when it comes to life changing moments, there are few things that must be sacrificed. all the good things wont come hand in hand.there will always be rocks, storms and many more and i really really hope that what i have with him now is gonna lasts until my last breath. because to learn and to love someone new is just taking so much energy. i want him to be the last guy i would fall in love because i just love everything about him and i want to spend the rest of my life with him even though the package that is coming includes the ones that doesn't suit to my liking such as his smoking behaviour. haha. that is one thing lah. but a part from that, i just love everything about him. 

marriage will come to me and it will all be good. aamiin. a