goodbye kak fazura

here goes a story about a colleague of mine who i adored so much. 

i guess she started working in SKA around march. when i heard the news we're getting a new science teacher.. 

in my school, there is always a battle when it comes to new teacher. 

sesi pagi nak cikgu baru. sesi petang pun nak cikgu baru. both are claiming lacking with teachers. which is true for both sides. tapi from my observation petang lagi teruk lah looking at cikgu petang punya jadual. 

anyway, the first day she went into the morning session but the second day she was assigned to be in the afternoon session. 

she took a place in front of me where the teacher there moved last year. 

the way i see it, dia sangat murah dengan senyuman.. dia senyum and we did have a nice chat. 

setiap hari dia akan datang sekolah dengan mood yang ceria. never once i saw her coming to school with an upset mood. tak pernah tengok dia sedih. tak pernah tengok dia marah. those two emotions, serius cakap, aku tak pernah nampak langsung sepanjang dia ada di sekolah. 

dia selalu cerita pasal anak dia, yusuf. a cured autism child. you know how amazing kids with autism right? kurang satu bahagian, tapi Allah gandakan di bahagian yang lain which is, his brain. kagum dengar cerita akak tu hari2. 

i liked to watch her do her works. sebab kerja dia memang tip top. unlike me who did all the talking. haha. 

she is the KP for this panitia i cant remember. and the setiausaha, all of the school teachers know how he is so i said, hm, kesian akak. but still, dia tak kisah. sepatutnya setiausaha lah kan buat fail? but no, she did it anyway. 

when she took over someone else's class pun aku dah macam kesian kt akak tu sebab kene ambil alih tugas this cikgu. tapi dia still buat kerja dia diligently. 

there was one time, dia kemas bilik BBM, sebab bilik tu di assign dekat dia, she fell down, and had a huge bruise for two months. and she didn't complain or tell anyone. i managed to know pun sebab i asked her kenapa tak solat kat pantry macam semua cikgu perempuan sesi petang yg lain kan. kat pantry tu ada sinki so cikgu2 amik wuduk situ jer. she told me, she had this bruise when dia tengah kemas bilik tu. siap tak pergi klinik lagi tau. dia biar je lebam tu. >.< 

she is an amazing person that i learned a lot from her. 

sejujurnya, aku sombong. aku sangat sombong. i kept telling everyone in the school, there is no way i'm doing my school work, at home. 

sombong kan? 

i told everyone that with my bitchy face. 

but this person changed me. 

setiap malam she will sleep around 1 or 2 pm and will wake up next day around 5 or 6 a.m. sebab? she is a mother and a wife. 

dia siapkan breakfast anak and suami dia. then sending his son to school. pergi pasar. balik masak lunch. then siap2 pergi sekolah. 

she lovesss to do teaching aids for her kids. sampaikan anak dia pernah cakap macam ni, "ibu tak pernah buat kan yusuf macam ni (the bbm)" 

lepas buat bbm untuk anak murid, dia buat pulak bbm untuk anak dia. i used to tell people i dont have the time. tapi aku ada 24 jam yang sama macam akak ni, tapi aku still tak mampu buat apa yang dia buat. 

bab kerja memang rajin.. 

bab personaliti. 

she smiles a lot. jumpa orang, tegur, senyum. and she doesnt need any makeup on. orang tertarik dengan perwatakan dia yang suka senyum dan sangat ramah. 

dia tak berkira. 

she spent a lot on her school stuff. yg mana aku dulu dok berkira sangat. huhu. 

dia ada sebekas raga, dalam raga ni, dia letak pensel, pemadam, pembaris, sharpener untuk murid2 dia. dia siap beli yg sharpener yg ada bateri tu lagi. i remember when she bought it, dia datang tunjuk kat aku, and asked me to give it a try. yelah, mana ada aku pernah cuba lagi selalu tengok kat tv je kan. dia sikit pun takde istilah kedekut dengan murid2. dia suka memberi. 

selalu aku tengok dia belikan murid2 dia, snacks and stuff. and aku lah mangsa dia. 

she came to school when i was 6 months pregnant. aku dah rupa mcm belon. so when i gave birth and came to school, she was in shocked. 

dia tengok aku dengan muka pelik, then she asked, ni sape? amalina ke? 

dia tak pernah tengok aku before pregnant jadi dia terkejut sgt. bukan kurus mana pun. haha. 

so, bila dia beli snacks kt anak murid dia, she would give it to me and said, nah makan nih. biar gemok mcm akak. hahaha. 

tapi dia cakap dengan suara yg lembuttttt sangat and aku tak pernah rasa kecik hati dengan dia. 

ada satu hari tu dia cerita pasal anak dia, which she always proudly does. 

she labelled her son's lunch. boleh bayang tak? kalau lauk tu ayam masak kicap, dekat bekas tu ada satu label, ayam masak kicap. even bekas nasi pun dia label. dia siap buat to do list dekat anak dia lagi. PRINTED!  so nanti anak dia balik, anak dia akan tick la dekat things yang anak dia dah buat dekat to do list tu. macam banyak kan masa dia? 

then at her home, tv ada, tapi siaran takde. i was like, habis tv gune untuk ape? dia jawab, cucuk pendrive. akak download la kartun-kartun yg yusuf suke nanti yusuf tengok lah. 

never in my life have i met someone who owns a tv with no channel. ni first time. 

dia sangat suka bercerita. and the way she tells the story, i adore. i just adore her so much.

ada hari tu cerita pasal shawl. dia cakap dia pernah beli shawl tapi tak sesuai dengan dia. husband dia siap cakap, kalau dia pakai shawl macam sampah. (tak kemas) 

so selalu dia akan pakai bawal. tapi satu hari ni aku tengok dia macam pakai shawl. so i asked her lah, ni boleh pulak akak pakai shawl? (bawal shawl instant) 

dia pun cerita lah. ni anak dia belikan. syarat dia untuk pakai tudung, not more than 30 seconds. 

ni pun aku tak pernah jumpa. aku tanya lah, habis akak set timer ke waktu akak pakai tudung tu? dia jawab, yelah. tapi ni tak lebih 30 saat so boleh lah akak pakai. hahahahahahahaha.. aku gelak gila bila dia cakap camtu. 

dia selalu puji orang lain. tapi bila aku puji dia, dia sangat lah humble. 

so, satu hari dia dapat offer kerja kat KPM. minggu tu aku busy sangat sebab kena latih budak untuk persembahan hari kanak-kanak. last tuesday was her last day at school. dalam kesibukan tu, i met her kat dalam bilik guru. and i was the only person there. dia tengah sibuk kemas2 barang dia and dia datang salam dengan aku. and i cried. aku sedih sangat idola aku dah takde kat sekolah. 

so lepas salam-salam tu, waktu tu aku dengan dia duduk bawah bumbung. ada raptai sempena hari kanak-kanak. she told me, masa dia first posting, dia dapat jawatan, SUP upsr, SUP dalaman, and SUP luaran. 

memang sangat banyak kerja kalau sup ni. so i asked her, 

akak tak rase terbeban ke? 

dia jawab mcm ni, 

'tak. akak tak rase terbeban. akak rase akak boleh buat. sebabnye, bile akak buat, sekolah akan happy, guru besar akan happy. bila diorang happy, akak pun akan happy sekali.'

this is what we called, sincerity in work peeps. setiap apa yang dia cakap tu bagi kesan yg mendalam kt aku.

dia siap cakap lagi, dari mula kerja, dia akan doa kt Allah, 

'ya Allah, biarlah majikanku suka akan aku, dan aku juga suka akan majikanku. biarlah kawan-kawanku suka akan aku dan aku juga suka pada mereka.'

and tak ada orang yg tak suka dia kat sekolah tu. dia tak ada langsung sifat benci or tak suka pada someone. 

dia siap buat ayat macam ni, 'kalau kita benci orang, kita nak benci sampai bila?' 

aku cam sedih and reflect balik dengan diri aku sendiri. on how many people i've hated. 

tu ja yg aku dapat gambarkan pasal akak ni. she is lots more than what i described here. aku tak sempat nak berguru dengan dia sebetulnya and it makes me sad that she has to leave. but she is in a better place, a happier place. alhamdulillah. i wish and pray for her.