I ain't complanin'. really

Hey!

new cute wallpaper for my blog. ha! is this an effort to make sure i post a lot? naah... it will still depend on my M.O.O.D. 

i am currently at home sweet home. it's really sweet. lately i've been wanting to go back home so bad. i might be making this as my habit every weekend. even though it will cost me quite a lot. but to be able to see faces of my precious ones, i think it will all be worth it. 

so instead of calling my mom everyday, i showed my face to my mom every week. haha. how awesome is that? but i still do will call my mom everyday if i have free time which lately i can't even pick up dad's call. so sad. i was so tired. i looked at the phone and just stare at it without even thinking of picking it up. heh~ what a life ey. 

imagine i have this life onward. then i started thinking, should i change my career to something else? i even discussed it with my practicum partner. haha.. i was really depressed during that time. i wanted to cry everyday but i was too tired to even cry. 

seriously. sometimes i stared at my window, and the thoughts kept on playing in my mind. how long will i end this? how long can i be patient? how long will i be able to accept things? how long should i wait? 

i couldn't find the answer. i am trying to live my life as fun as i could but everyday it seemed very dull and no laughter at all. dry. just like a sand on a hot desert. 

tired. exhausted. fatigue. felt like crap. felt like giving up. felt so negative. not even positive. i got mad all the time. that's really me. 

sometimes i felt really tired to scold the pupils. because they were so young and so adorable. how could i possibly be mad at them. then, my mind was always too tired and there u had it. i let it go. i really wished to be at a beach or at a waterfall. i didn't have to make myself wet, i just needed to hear the sound of calmness. i needed fresh air so badly. even though here, in penang, the air is not so fresh but at least i got to see fresh faces. :) 

well, that's it for my babbling moment. so see you really really soon eh. bye-bye lovelies.