figuratively crippled

I had always been a carefree person. I go out whenever I feel like it. I do what I want to do however I like it, whenever I like it. 

but today, I feel so helpless, and so much in prison. because I cannot go out. the only way to go out is when my room mate asked me out. well, that is not the only way. but I just wish that I have a car as if right now so whenever I feel bored, I will just go out for a drive. or maybe hit my relative's place. 

last night was super awful. I felt like going mad. I called my boyfriend, he didn't pick up and I went hysterical with that. Luckily he has two phones and I called another number. 

I seriously was like a person who needed a anti-depressant shot. or pill. 

like a mad cow I was yesterday. I even watched Korean drama which the main cast is my favourite actress of all time, but still, I felt super bored. have you ever felt that? boredom to the point of even watching movies or dramas will still make you feel bored. and you just can't help yourself out of that situation. 

em, probably, it's just me. haha. 

I thought before I was getting super annoying at my own self, I better go to sleep. but I remembered of me not taking a shower after I got back from school. duh. no wonder. 

it almost felt like I was disturbed by an unhealthy emotion and it felt super weird. 

so, I went to take a shower and soothed myself, and put myself into bed, and then I slept without an effort, even though I had 3 hours of sleep, earlier before. 

this kind of thing, had happened to me a lot of times. I seriously need a car and I need to do something worth doing instead of doing nothing and waiting for others to take me out. 

my friend will be visiting jalan tar tonight, but sadly, I cannot go. how to go? I am not daring enough to walk to the LRT station on my own, AT NIGHT. super scary lah these days. and dangerous. 

might as well, be crazily bored and safe.

and yes, I wish to go to downtown cheras. please. car. please come to me very very soon.