kawankah ?

assalamualaikum wbt n peace upon all..

hi everyone. i am thinking, what is the definition of 'friendship'? and what makes a person our friend? i really don't have the exact answer for this but there are certain people that i only want to recognize them as my classmate. nothing more than that. why?

i received enough lies, broken promises from these people. whatever they say can never really comfort me or gives security to me. that's what i thought. maybe i should trust them. but being lied for more than a lie will absolutely make me not to trust them anymore. i am really sorry for saying this. but to gain my trust, you have to earn it. i won't say it will be easy. you can do it if you want or you can choose to not do anything and i will always have doubts in you. with no regrets i'm saying this. 

i know that it is a stupid mistake to actually count on them. to seek their help when i know myself that they will not turn up and do the favour. i am advising myself to never depend on them anymore. i know i can't trust any of them to help, only by begging them to do it then only they'll do. 

i know that people make mistakes but unreasonable excuses given and to disappear when we desperately need their help really giving me the feeling of 'annoyance'. these people annoyed me. i know i am not a good friend but i know how to apologize when i am wrong. these people? they kept telling others that they are so right and never wrong. and whenever they say sorry, they don't mean it instead, yelling when saying it. 

kawankah camtu? 

so tell me, does the act of lying, breaking promises and to let down the people around them will make up a good friend? i don't have the answer for that but for me, i will determine my own barrier. if these people really want to make friends with me, they gotta learn to say sorry sincerely first and make me trust them.